An open letter to the one who should be proud of me

It seems to you that I’ve done nothing in my life for you to be proud of, at least that’s how you’ve made me feel my entire life.

You have never told me once that you’re proud of who I am or what I’ve done… Yet you brag about my siblings, but not me. You brag about the one who has hurt a lot of people.

I have had a job since I was 15, moved out and became an adult and created a family, and you are proud of the one who has no responsibilities? The one who drug his family though the dirt?

I have a question though… Why can’t you be proud of me too? Why can’t you brag about my accomplishments?

What did I ever do to be the least favored one? What did I do to deserve belittling words and criticism all the time?

Sometimes (sometimes it’s an understatement) I struggle…. Mentally, emotionally and financially, but I always pull myself out of it. Why can’t you be proud of how strong I am?

I’ve struggled to the point of not wanting to be alive… Why can’t you just be proud that I am still breathing?

Why can’t you just be proud of anything I’ve ever done instead of tearing me down and telling me how proud you are of someone else all the time?

I am here, I’m alive when for so many years, I didn’t want to be. I’m responsible and I pull myself out of my darkest times. You are there for everyone else, but me.

Why can’t you even just ask me if I’m okay? Why can’t you just even pretend that I matter to you?