This post isn’t about anyone specifically, but about every time I turned to someone, how they turned me down. I know, this seems like a downer post, but it’s to help everyone who has been turned down and to those who didn’t listen to their loved one who needed them. I will not be naming who specifically said these things.
They weren’t there when I needed them
When I was having a hard time with my relationship with my soon to be Ex- husband, I turned to my friend to vent and told her what my thoughts were and how I was feeling, which was utterly shattered. I told her I was thinking of divorce because of all the mental abuse, cheating and lying I was put through. Her response: “Divorce is a sin. You should go to church.”
I went to a family member about how I was feeling about my anxiety sky rocketing and how it was affecting my everyday life. I was having constant anxiety all the time and didn’t know what to do. Family member’s response: “Anxiety is all in your head, you can control it.”
I use to have multiple panic attacks a week. I would be in the bathroom, on the floor crying and hyperventilating and just hoping to die so the sadness ends. I just needed to be reassured that I wasn’t alone and just to have someone there with me. Instead I was told: “What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you freaking out?! I am going to call the cops if you don’t stop.”
When I was struggling in all ways possible and just needed advice, I went to a family member about everything and didn’t get the advice I should have gotten. Family member’s response: “You got yourself in that situation. I don’t know how to help you.”
I was always there for everyone when they needed me, even though I knew I was being used as a last resort friend. I never turned anyone down when they said they needed a person to talk to and I never will. I don’t care if we aren’t really friends, haven’t talked in months, don’t really like each other… It doesn’t matter to me because your life matters. Your feelings matter and your health and mental health matters and if the people who should care most about you in your life don’t show you that, I will. From one human to another.
Thank you. You more than likely saved my life. I use to be in a REALLY dark place and y’all shined light into my world of darkness. You helped me realize my strength and my worth again. You’ve restored some of my faith in humanity. You’ve helped me rediscover who I am and I am more than grateful.
If you love and care about someone, then it shouldn’t be so hard to be there for them. Don’t belittle their feelings or their mental health. Mental Health Matters more than you obviously understand. Its apparent that you guys also have mental health issues if it’s so hard to be compassionate towards others. Actually LOVE your loved ones, or you may lose them… You don’t have to give advice, but you could just listen and remind them of their strength they have and how you’ll be there through every step of getting better.