The last couple of years, forgiveness has been my struggle. Everyone’s natural first thought is to get revenge, to make that person who hurt you, hurt the same way. We all know that revenge is not the way to go. It just creates more hatred in this world, and we all know that there is enough of that already. You don’t want to contribute to that cycle of hurt, so break it.
When you don’t forgive
Not forgiving someone can do extensive damage to yourself. You will carry around that grudge with you and feel hurt and anger all the time. As much as you don’t think you will, you will portray it on others who did nothing to you. Now you are causing hurt to those who didn’t hurt you. You won’t be able to live your life happily because you are carrying that hurt around with your still. Holding grudges like that can cause an array of mental health issues. That’s no way to live.
When you forgive
You are letting go of the hurt, anger and pain you were caused so you can continue to live your life happily. You are freeing your mind of the memory of what they did and the hurt they caused you so that you can really be happy and live your life. You are being the bigger person (I know that sounds cliche, but it’s true) and it takes more strength and energy to be the bigger person. You forgive for yourself rather than for the person who hurt you.
In 2017, my life long best friend betrayed me in the most hurtful way. I am not going into detail because it’s not necessary, but I held on to that pain and hurt for over a year. I kept it inside me and let me tell you, it caused more issues for me than it would to have just forgiven her. My anxiety and depression sky rocketed and I isolated myself from the world for that long. I trusted no one after what she did. I think needless to say, but I was miserable.
I’ve been hurt a lot by friends and family, but I forgave them all so I don’t hold on to that anger and hurt anymore.
Just because you forgave someone doesn’t mean you are going to let them back in your life the same way they were or even at all and that’s okay. You forgive for yourself, not for them.
Honestly, if I didn’t forgive the people that are in my life today, they wouldn’t be there. People are human and human’s make mistakes. All are forgivable, not always forgettable though, and that can certainly determine if they are meant to be in your life or not.