Anxiety is hard to handle and really messes with your mind, even more so when you’re a mother.
The other night, I was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, but of course I can’t. I start thinking of things I can’t do anything about at that moment, like if we need groceries, what happened to my dish brush that I was using earlier, and if my kid brushed her teeth or not. I wish this was the extent of my other thinking, but it’s not.
I hear a motorcycle outside and think, “Wow, that’s loud…. what if they are parked in front of my house… What if it’s someone who is trying to get in my house? What happens if they do get in? I have to get my daughter out without him seeing. Will I be able to get out of the window in time and get away? What if I don’t? What if he gets my daughter?
Yeah, these are the kind of thoughts that pop in my head when I am trying to sleep. This is pretty much a nightly thing.
This what mom’s with anxiety want you to know
Anxiety all started with me when I was in middle school age. I didn’t grow up in the happiest family home- there was a lot of fighting and tension and after so long of something like this, it can take a serious toll on someone.
I got pregnant having anxiety, so I worried all the time. I became a mom with anxiety which was the hardest thing ever. I ended up becoming a stay at home mom and that didn’t do my anxiety any good.
Here’s what you NEED to know:
I didn’t choose anxiety. It chose me.
My mind does not work like other’s who don’t have anxiety. One bad thought can spiral out of control and turn into a panic attack.
I hate feeling this way, trust me.
I don’t like it at all and I would never choose to feel this way, especially for attention.
Because of anxiety, I am an over protecting mom.
Having anxiety is a feeling of not having control. As a result, I try and control everything my kid does to keep her safe. It’s not the best way to do things but it’s the only way I know how right now.
Stop judging me when you have never had to live this way.
Regardless if someone has anxiety or not, you shouldn’t judge anyways. It helps no one. It’s beyond hard to be a mother who suffers from anxiety
Don’t tell me that my kid is suffering because of my anxiety, because she isn’t.
Just because I am over protective of my kid, doesn’t mean I neglect her of any fun. I am just more cautious than most about the things she does.
Don’t belittle my feelings.
Just because you feel something is not worthy of getting upset over, doesn’t mean I feel that way. It’s a feeling, not a choice. I can’t just choose what bothers me and what doesn’t. If I could, I wouldn’t be writing this right now.
Yes, I have a mental illness. Yes, I struggle daily with it. Yes, it makes things hard, but that doesn’t mean I’m not human just like you and don’t have feelings, they are just different than yours.
Being a mom with Anxiety is not easy.