The fact that I even feel the need to write this just bothers me, but here we are. Obviously, there are things you just don’t say or do in front of your kids, right? Well some parents didn’t get that memo or just don’t care if their kids lose all respect for them. Hence why I’m writing this. There’s things that kids minds just aren’t equipped to hear and shouldn’t worry about anyways. There’s also things that they don’t need to see, such as a parent disrespecting another parent, or belittling them. Yeah, this should be common sense, but apparently not to everyone.
Your kids see what you do and how you act and how you treat others. They follow you. You are their role models. They learn how to be an essential, functioning part of society from you. Think about that for a moment. You are molding a human to grow up and be successful.
Don’t talk about your finances when your kids are around.
It’s a great idea to teach your kids about finances because that’s something they’ll use in their life, but don’t talk about your household finances in front of them. This is adult stuff. They don’t need to worry about stuff like that. There are situations however that this doesn’t pertain to. No child should have to worry about if you can afford food or things that are needed. Just figure it out and don’t talk about how your late on bills in front of them. Nothing worse than your child asking if you can afford to do this or that with obvious worry in their face.
Don’t criticize your spouses parenting in front of your kids.
I don’t quite understand why any parent would do this unless the discipline goes to far of course. Don’t tell your spouse they were wrong for the type of discipline they gave just because you didn’t like it IN FRONT OF THE KIDS. Do you understand the risks of this? Your kids seeing you treating your significant other like they did something wrong for disciplining them for something they did wrong will cause them to lose respect for that parent, like they have no say and that you will overrule the other parents discipline. It’s just wrong. Don’t take your significant other’s parental rights away.
Don’t bad mouth your significant other in front of your kids.
This shouldn’t even be said, but unfortunately there are people like this in this world. Parents speaking so badly about their kid’s other parent in front of their kids. On top of this just not being right, do you understand how awful this makes your kids feel and what image of that parent you are implanting in their minds? That’s not fair to the other parent and definitely not fair for your kids.
Don’t undo something that the other parent did.
What I mean is, don’t undo the parenting that the other parent did- don’t give something back to your kids that was taken from them by the other parent because they are crying about being in trouble. The other parent has the same amount of say as you do. If you keep undoing what the other parent does, your kids won’t take the other parent seriously because they think you will save them every time they do something wrong and get punished for it. Just not okay.
Don’t use your significant other’s past that was before you, against them.
I don’t understand why people do this. It’s cruel. It’s done out of anger I’m sure, but it shouldn’t even be an option. We all say things out of anger, no ones perfect, but refrain from doing it in front of your kids. The past is the past for a reason. Leave it there. They didn’t have to tell you about their past, but they choose to, so you shouldn’t use it against them, especially in front of your kids. Again, this is one of those things that shouldn’t be said, but unfortunately, there are selfish people in this world.
Don’t tell a step parent that they aren’t the real parent.
This! This upsets me to the fullest. I am a step mom and not once has my husband, or the mother’s of his kids ever told me that I wasn’t their parent. Not once. In fact, the mother of my step daughter reads my blog and sees me refer to her daughter as mine and she doesn’t disagree. If that step parent has been the only other parent in your kid’s life, then this shouldn’t even be thought of. Instead, it’s used against them when it comes to disciplining and responsibility to them. It’s wrong. The worst part is, telling that step parent they aren’t really their parent IN FRONT OF THE CHILD THAT THINKS OF THEM AS THEIR PARENT. Not only did you belittle your significant other, you said that they weren’t your child’s parent in front of your child. The outcome of this could be many things. Your child could lose respect for that parent because they aren’t his parent, or it could break their heart. Either way, you’re doing damage that is very hard, if not impossible to undo.
Kids are sponges, they hear and repeat everything they see their parents doing. They are sensitive, easily impressionable and just innocent. Don’t ruin that for them. Let them have a childhood. I didn’t have this. I saw and head things that I couldn’t ever imagine my kids enduring. Enough to scar me and have a lasting affect on me.