Last night, I had to make one of the hardest decisions ever. My 10 year old pekingese had been sick for days and wasn’t getting any better. She’s blind, which made everything worse. She had stopped eating, and was lethargic and then eventually wasn’t able to walk. Her being blind made it worse because the little amount of walking she could do, she ran into things. Day before yesterday, she stopped walking altogether.
It’s been a hard time for me these last couple of weeks. I’ve been sick for a about three weeks with colds and massive sinus issues, then my car broke down and it’s going to cost quite a bit to get it fixed and then my Lily girl got sick. It’s been rough with everything lately, but this was the hardest part. I laid her to rest last night around 6:30 pm.
A few days ago, I took her to an animal hospital near me and had the worst experience. I just wanted the vet to be upfront with me and she wasn’t. I spent the last little bit of money I had for the exam visit and a medication that wasn’t going to help her because I couldn’t afford all the tests that they wanted to do. I knew those tests were going to result in surgery and I just could bare putting my baby through that at her age and with the health issues she already had. The vets main concern wasn’t what is should have been either.
Yesterday I called over 15 clinics to find an option and a vet that would be honest with me and not just want money and I found one and she gave me a free consultation. I wasn’t expecting to put her down last night, but as soon as the vet told me that she was suffering, I couldn’t bare to take her home and have her suffer more. I made that hard decision and let her go.
I’ve had Lily since I was 17-years old and she has literally been by my side through a lot of dark times when no one else was. She was my constant support. A piece of me, of that comfort is forever gone.
My anxiety and depression has been really bad lately and this just put it at an all time high, so I will be taking a break from blogging for while to adjust to life again and find happiness again, because right now, I don’t have much.
Cherish your pets everyone. They love you unconditionally and just want love back. They don’t live forever and when it’s their time, it hurts like hell to let them go. She was more than just a dog to me.♥♥
I will forever miss you. You sat by my side when no one else did. I’m devastated that you are gone but happy you are no longer suffering. Even though
I knew you were suffering, you hid it from me so I wouldn’t be sad. I love you, Lily girl. My forever friend.
She loved to hid in things, especially boxes. Probably because when she was a puppy, I use to stick her in my jacket pocket and take her everywhere with me. It didn’t matter if the space was too small for her to fit in, she made herself fit. ♥