One of the most reoccurring problems I run into with my anxiety is others using my anxiety as an excuse for their actions. Here’s an example:
“Oh, you can be in a bad mood because of your anxiety, but when I do it, all hell breaks loose.”
First of all, I don’t use my anxiety as an excuse for how I treat someone. It may be the cause, but it still doesn’t give me the right to justify it because I have anxiety. I realize what I did or said, and I am always quick to apologize. Never do I use it as an excuse to be a bitch to someone and for them to just pretend it didn’t happen. I’m an adult and can recognize when I say or do something wrong and I address it the right way.
Another thing that is on the top of my Anxiety sucks list is when it’s thrown in my face constantly for someone else’s actions. It’s hard enough to feel the way I do with my anxiety and how it can just tear me down and into a million little pieces as it is. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t choose to have anxiety, especially if I’m not going to use it for my benefit. It goes deeper than that. 90% of the time, I feel like I am the only one in the universe who feels like they are crazy, even though I know there are people that feel the same. That’s what anxiety does, it isolates you and breaks you down until you have no idea what emotion is what.
I’ve had my anxiety belittled by a lot of people. Sadly, mostly family members. I had someone say to me, “You know what anxiety is, right? It’s just fear.” Yeah, it is fear, but not just fear in the simplest form. It’s fear of actual things, and other feelings. Fear of being alone, fear of being powerless, fear of not being good enough. All of these can lead into other things. Like, fear of not being a good parent, fear of not having control of your own life, fear that something is going to go wrong. I know that everyone feels these during their life, but what most people don’t realize or even understand is that people who suffer from anxiety feel these things daily. DAILY PEOPLE. Could you imagine living your life feeling so much fear every day?
This fear can make itself present at any moment, and trust me, it does. It makes itself present with me when I’m happy, when I’m having the best day ever. I can’t always control it. Trust me, if I could, I totally would, because who wants to feel like this?
I’ve also had others tell me “It’s all in your head, you know that right?” DUH. That’s the worst part. It is all in my head. I battle with myself and what goes on up there DAILY. Of course, they didn’t mean it in an understanding way…They meant it like I am making it up. I wish people, I wish.
Sometimes I wish I never talked about my anxiety with others, so they can’t throw it in my face, but then if no one knew what I battle with every day, everyone would just think I’m just a crazy, angry person, so either way, it sucks.
A bit of advice to everyone suffering from anxiety or not, don’t throw someone’s anxiety in their face to justify your actions. Be an adult and own up to your own shit, not make excuses for it, and for those who have anxiety, don’t use it as an excuse to treat someone like shit. Apologize for what you say an do even if anxiety caused it.