“Nothing should be gender specific.”

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I’ve never been the kind of mom that put a gender specification on toys or clothes or activities. I did however do this not even realizing it… Yesterday I was at Walmart grocery shopping with Averie. We walked down an isle where a previous co-worker and good friend was stocking, and he just loves Averie (He has a five-year-old son). He was talking to Averie and asking her questions about what she likes and one of the things she said was that she likes playing with cars. Well He told Averie that he likes cars too and then I chimed in and said, “Yeah, she likes dirt and dinosaurs too. She loves to be dirty and do boy things, like her dad. I swear, she’s half boy.” He then said, “Why do you say that? Nothing should be gender specific.”

He is so right. Nothing for kids should be gender specific. I can’t believe I even said that. I wasn’t even thinking. Kids are who they are. Girls should be able to play with dinosaurs and cars without being criticized for it. I mean, we all learn about dinosaurs in school and eventually all drive cars, right? Just like boys should be able to play with baby dolls without getting any kind of looks from another judgmental parent. Eventually that boy will either become a dad or play a dad figure in another kid’s life at some point. Having a baby doll prepares them for that. It teaches them nurturing and kindness.

Another time I was at Walmart, I was getting Pull-ups and another mom was down the same isle doing the same thing. She turns to me and says, “Does it really matter what kind of Pull-ups I get for my daughter? I can get her the boy ones, right?” I replied, “Honestly, there is no boy ones or girl ones. They are all the same, just different colors.” She smiled and said, “Good, I’m glad you said that.” I let Averie pick out her own Pull-ups when she with me, and normally, she picks out the blue Paw Patrol ones. It’s pretty much whatever her interests are that week, which we all know that kid’s interests change all the time.

I have never not bought my daughter something that she really wanted because it was in the boy section. Nor will I ever do that. I will also never make a comment like I did at Walmart ever again. I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking that she can’t play with cars, dinosaurs or in the dirt because it’s for boys. I want her to be able to wear and do whatever she wants and feel comfortable with it. I want her to be able to dress up as Chase from Paw Patrol for Halloween if she wants to. I want her to feel comfortable in anything and everything she does. She isn’t a girl who likes boy things… She’s a girl who likes everything and doesn’t gender categorize. She just doesn’t care about that kind of stuff. If it looks fun or cool, she wants it.

I think we all need to be a little more like our kids. We shouldn’t gender categorize. Our kids like what they like because that is who they are, and we wouldn’t try and change our kids, right? We love them for who they are.

Speaking of kids being who they are… Something has been bothering me lately. One of my friends came out to everyone as gay just recently, and he was terrified to do it. Especially to his mom. This makes me sad that people feel the need that they need to hide and or announce being who they were born as. No one announces that they are straight. Why should someone who is attracted to the same sex feel the need to announce that they are gay or bi-sexual? They shouldn’t, because IT IS WHO THEY ARE. Everyone needs to stop discriminating against someone for being exactly who they are meant to be. It should just be a normal thing to be gay, bi, straight or whatever you want to be. Love is love regardless who it is between. Everyone should be able to love themselves, but others who hate, make it impossible sometimes for people to love themselves for who they are.

Less hate, more love people. Come on, it’s 2018. Hate and discrimination is so outdated. Love and acceptance are in.

Remember, gender categorizing and discriminating are not okay and makes you selfish human being.

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9 thoughts on ““Nothing should be gender specific.”

  1. Agreed on all of this. I find that society is a little more open to girls playing with “boy” things or dressing in “boy” colours as it’s painted as cute and “tomboy”. But if that little girl wanted to wear a dump truck t-shirt then comments would start rolling. For boys I find it is even harder to try to remain gender neutral in the current world we live in. People are very fast to comment on a boy playing with a doll or with a pink backpack. That child is labeled as maybe being gay or a wimp because of his more “girly” preferences. It makes me SO angry. My son is as “boy” as they come. But he also loves barbies (he has 3), he loves his pink stuffed animals and if I ever were to take away his pink unicorn water bottle all hell would break loose. Kids don’t know what society expects of them. They are innocent and simply like what they like. I don’t think it is anyone’s job to take away that innocence by telling them that what they are playing with or wearing is meant for the gender that they are not. One day another kid is going to tell my son that his unicorn water bottle is for a girl and it is going to break my little boy’s heart and I’m going to have to work really hard to teach him about gender neutrality and for not judging another child because of something he likes as well as staying true to himself and what he likes. It’s not a conversation I’m looking forward to having, but it’s an important one.

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    1. It’s sad that society is like that. I could never break a child’s heart because of what their interests are. It’s not right. No child’s innocence should be destroyed for any reason. I am so glad someone thinks the way I do about this!

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      1. Have you seen the blog “Raising My Rainbow”? You should check it out. It is written by a woman who is raising a son who is gender non-conforming. She doesn’t write often, but what she has is really eye opening to the struggle that she and her son go through every day because what he loves isn’t what society tells him to love as a boy. He is an amazing kid who I think will do great things in the world for other kids and even adults who don’t conform to what society tells them they should be.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It is all very true – I say some of the same things! My daughter makes sure she doesn’t gender specify with her kids and toys too. I also agree with the coming out of your friend – why should they have to come out? It shouldn’t be a thing – Just be you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It really is! Toys are toys, if you watch kids at day care. They play with everything! I have gotten Raina “girl toys” and “Boy toys” and everyone plays with both! We had a friend comment on Markus playing with a baby doll saying it was a girl toy. I tried to nicely state that there is nothing wrong with it! Good job mama !!!! You’re doing good!

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