This is something I’ve dealt with most my life. My feelings have always been invalidated by most of the ones that said they loved me.
Invalidation is when you tell someone or insinuate that someone’s feelings are not valid or that they are wrong.
This is not love… It’s manipulation and emotional abuse. Here are some examples of invalidating remarks.
- “You should feel lucky…”
- “Don’t be so sensitive…”
- “You need to lighten up.”
- “You’re the only one who gets upset over something like this.”
- “Get over it, that’s life.”
- “You’re overreacting.” (I seem to get this one a lot.)
How many of you have heard any of these from your loved ones? Yeah, all of these are invalidating statements and it’s emotional abuse. It’s not okay and it causes harm to others. It makes someone feel like their feelings are wrong or bad. It can worsen psychological disorders and emotional problems. This can cause so many other life issues…
Feelings and emotions aren’t right or wrong, they are natural. When painful feelings and emotions are suppressed, dismissed, or invalidated, they become more intense or manifest in other ways. Pain when put on the back burner can never heal.
Still to this day, my emotions and feelings are invalidated. Having anxiety and being dismissed had made me feel so insignificant. It’s made me feel like I’m just crazy. I’ve felt more alone in my life than I’ve felt wanted or even loved. Before I had my daughter, I didn’t want to be around anymore. I didn’t want to feel any emotion anymore. I was so mentally and emotionally exhausted from feeling so insignificant, that I felt like there was no point to life anymore.
My daughter has shown me a different view on life. Although I still struggle… a lot, my daughter reminds me of my worth and reminds me that I do matter and that I have a purpose. .
Invalidating someone’s feelings or emotions is abuse and can cause more harm to them than you’ll ever know… You don’t want that on your hands.