Even though every mom’s life is different, I know there is one thing for sure that every
Mom Woman struggles with at some point in their life… Body image. I know I have!!
It’s not just women who are overweight that struggle… I have struggled most my life with my size. I have always been really tall and really slender… No, I don’t mean tall and slender like a model… I mean tall and slender like no figure… At all. Nothing ever fit me right, because I had nothing to fill anything out. Since I am so tall, I’ve always had issues finding that was long enough for my legs. Since I was so skinny, and had no waist, I could never find pants that wouldn’t be too big around and when I did, the leg length was too short.
This really took a toll on me when I hit my teen years… I still had no figure when I hit the age of 13. I was teased and made fun of most my life. I’ve been called so many skinny names that I lost count. Some being, twig, stick bug, anorexic and flaca was my nickname which means skinny in Spanish. I was told mean things in my teen years that just killed any ounce of self-confidence I had. I’ve been asked, “Do you even eat?” I’ve also been asked, “Do you throw up when no one is looking to stay skinny?” and “When are you going to gain some weight?!”
While ever girl my age would wear heels and shorts, I never would because I got made fun of my legs being too long and already being too tall.. I got called names like Lurch and stretch. I grew up believing that I was ugly and not good enough. I felt like I was disgusting in everyone’s eyes.
I didn’t really acquire any kind of a figure until I got pregnant. I actually liked the way I looked more when I was pregnant than I did most my life. It was the only time I gained weight. Unfortunately, I lost all that baby weight completely, a month after I had my daughter. I felt more confident during pregnancy and after with how I looked.
In my adult life, I don’t get those questions or comments as much as I did growing up. When I do get them, it’s from adults 10+ years older than me or from those struggling with their image. It hurts all the same though…
Luckily, pants for longer legged slender women are a thing now, but I still struggle to find other clothes that flatter my body type. All the really pretty adult dresses seem like they are only made for someone with a model figure. A lot of dresses are baggy on me in the hips, butt and breast areas. I was shopping with a friend this past week and she too struggles with body image. She made a comment while were looking at women’s clothes; She said, “You skinny b****es are lucky, you get all the cute clothes.” I remember thinking, “I hate this section too…Nothing here will fit me to flatter my body type because most of this is made for women with model figures, not for women with barely a figure. I’d rather shop in the pajama section because at least those clothes are meant to be baggy.” I know she didn’t mean anything insulting towards me by it because she was just frustrated with her body size, but it still bothered me, because I did struggle with my size most my life and sometimes still do.
I’m almost 27 years old and occasionally, I struggle with the way I look and my weight, but I’m more accepting of myself than I ever use to be. I wear things that I never use to have the confidence to wear…even dresses. I even wear heels, even though I’m super tall. I wear shorts now also. I’m actually gaining weight now too (Finally). I’ve maintained around the same weight from the age of 15 until just recently of 98lbs to 103lbs. I could never gain AND maintain more than 103 (Except for when I was pregnant, or course.) and now I weigh 117.5lbs and have maintained that for about a month now.
For my daughter
I needed to change my perspective of myself for me, but most importantly, for my daughter. I am the number one person that she looks up to, her number one influence and I don’t want to teach her to be self conscious about the way she looks. I want her to know that she is beautiful and grow up feeling that way about herself. I want her to be confident and strong. I need to show her that no matter if you are thick, thin, tall or short, every woman is uniquely beautiful.
A letter to every woman
You were made how you are for a reason. What you look like does not define who you are. You are gorgeous no matter how big or small you are. Know your self-worth. Know that you ARE beautiful and wear that outfit that you secretly want to wear, but have been too self-conscious to. Learn to love yourself… Your daughters are learning strength and self-worth from you. Your sons are learning how women should see themselves and what to look for in a woman from you.
Stop making comments about other women. Don’t judge and assume because someone else’s struggle is different from yours, we all struggle differently.