There are way more than 5 things that a non-mom shouldn’t say to a mom, but these 5 are my personal favorites. Yes, people have actually said these to me before.
“That’s not good for your kid to eat.”
…Just like those fries aren’t good for you to eat, Susan? Last time I checked, this was MY kid and I pay for her food. You try getting a toddler to eat well balanced meals every single day! It’s just not reality, Susan!
“You aren’t bringing your kid, are you?”
For one, this is a rude want to ask, and two, if my kid isn’t welcome to come with her mother, then why the heck would I want to go, Mary?! No thanks, I’ll stay home and watch Sesame Street with my unwelcomed kid..
“You should teach your kid this… or that…”
…And I think your mom should re-teach you manners, Tammy. This is MY kid. Do you have kids, Tammy? No? You have a dog? Yeah, not even close to the same thing. You don’t like the way I teach my kid or what I teach her? Then I suggest you better find some more dog mom friends, huh?
“Can you tell your kid to be quiet?!”
Yeah, if I could really stop my 2 YEAR OLD from being loud on command, don’t you think I would have done that already, Janet? Let’s be real here, as awesome as I am, I am not a fairy god mother with a magic wand. Don’t like it? Then I’ll take my screaming kid and go to Wal-Mart where all the other screaming kids and their parents congregate. There I know we’ll fit in.
“Your house is messy.”
Yes, I’m well aware my house isn’t in perfect, tip-top shape like yours, Linda, but do you have kids? No? Then you wouldn’t know the distinct similarities between a tornado and a toddler. Go ahead and clean my messy, Linda. Then sit here with me and wait for the storm and be prepared to eat your words.
Seriously, if you aren’t a mom and have no idea what parents deal with on a daily basis, then you should probably keep your trap closed. Mom’s lack a lot of sleep, energy and sanity… They can snap at any moment, so it would be in your best interest to watch what you say and ask, especially if you are only a mom to animals.
BONUS INGNOANT PHRASE:
“You shouldn’t have anymore kids.”
This is just down right ignorant! Do you watch my kids, Betty? Do you feed, pay for, or care for my kids, Betty? Are you married to my husband, Betty? I’m pretty sure if I want to reproduce more cute little humans into this world, that’s 100% my choice, and 10000% not your business. As a matter of fact… Since you think its alright to even say this to a mother, you definitely shouldn’t reproduce, Betty.
*Susan, Mary, Tammy, Janet, Linda and Betty were not harmed in the writing of this blog.*