I want to take the time to tell you all what family is to me.
So, what I’m talking about is a little different than just doing anything for your kids, parents or siblings…
What I’m talking about isn’t considered “normal” in most eyes, but honestly, it should be.
In the last 2 weeks, I’ve been in and out of 3 different hospitals with Stephanie, the mother of my step daughter, Lanaia. She got extremely “sick”, for lack of a better term for everything that was wrong with her and still is wrong. Let’s just say at one point, it would have been easier to name what wasn’t wrong with her.
I got asked by a few people in the last 2 weeks, “Why are you doing so much for your husband’s ex?”
The only logical reason I had was, “Because she’s family.” The fact that those who know me and my family would ask why I do what I do for the mother of my step daughter makes me question the intelligence or humans. I mean really, think about it, all drama and pettiness aside… Stephanie is Lanaia’ mom. I think of Lanaia the same way I think of my own daughter. What kind of step mother and human being would I be if I didn’t think of Lanaia’s Mommy, someone that means the world to her, as family?
I cannot and will not fail my step daughter, just like I would never fail my daughter.
Aver and Lanaia are sisters and best friends. Stephanie and I are the main influences in their lives, it does no good at all to have “Baby Mama Drama” like you see on Maury or like you even ready about on social media. What the heck do you think that teaches our children?! Hatred! Hatred is what it teaches them and I’m not okay with my children learning how to be hateful.
Stephanie and I have become great friend actually. So, it’s become normal for us but we do love the confused reactions we get when we’re asked how we know each other. Stephanie and I have had our issues, just like any normal friends would, but we’ve never let those issues cause hatred that affected our girls.
Whether Stephanie and I are friends or not, I would still consider her family and sleep in uncomfortable hospital chairs again for her, because that’s what family does.
To all the women that are step-moms,
Remember who brought your step child who you love into the world.
In my case, my first step-child is what made me me a mom.
Honestly, there is no point in hating the mother of your step-kids just because they are your significant others ex, because regardless, they are still the mother of the kids you think of as your own. Trust me when I say, it is just easier and takes way less energy to just be friends or even just be civil with your step-kid’s mom’s. Don’t bad mouth them, it’s wrong and makes you look worse than how you’re talking about them. Don’t exclude the, from holidays or even family events just because they are your significant other’s ex. Just think how happy your kids will be to see all of their family celebrating together. Kids don’t see their family as being separate, they just see them as family.
I cannot express the pure joy I see in Lanaia’s face when her Mom and 2 brothers come over to our house with her and her other brother and sister.
My daughter absolutely loves Stephanie. She calls her “Owl” because of her owl tattoo. Lol. When kids think up a special name for someone, that means that persons something to them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having more people in your children’s lives to love them. Stephanie treats Averie like she treats her own daughter and I couldn’t be more grateful for that.
I don’t care what anyone thinks. My step-children’s mothers are part of my family and I will be there whenever they need me. There is so much unnecessary hatred in the world already, why generate more?
…I sound like a hippy…
Mother’s of my step-children,
Like I said in a previous blog post, thank you ladies, for allowing me to be a mother to you babies. Thank you for trusting me with them. I will always love and protect your babies, just like I would my own. Both of you will always be considered family to me.
Family isn’t just blood.